Healing my Achilles' Heel

This January, motivated by New Year’s resolutions, I attended a “Lunch & Learn” at work about fitness & personal well being.    As I was about to embark on a department weight loss challenge, I was motivated to win the $300 grand prize, but I left this event learning a more valuable lesson.  During the presentation the feeling of anxiety of being held down by the weight of my situation (pun intended) immediately came to the forefront, but I left encouraged by the advice of taking it one step at time.   First, to see progress, pick one and just do it for 10 days & then something else the next 10 days.   This could be anything from giving up coffee or eating more vegetables or walking.   Another step would be related to the BMI height & weight targets.  The speaker admitted the BMI targets of “healthy”, “overweight”, & “obese” may be unrealistic to to the situations of some, but improved health could be improved one level at a time and not with one fell swoop.     

In my life, weight loss has been my Achilles’ heal.  From my days in middle school & high school, I recognized myself, a backup defensive lineman who wasn’t overly athletic at the sport, as uncomfortably overweight, but I really wasn’t, I allowed myself to lose confidence through my own insecurities.  To my days in college, I felt uncomfortable with my looks as my friends started serious dating relationships and I didn’t feel I was good enough, but I shouldn't have felt that way, it was my confidence weighing me down cause me to give up on myself & turn to binge eating.    Finally in my professional years, I started to realize that the “Freshmen 15” started to show up in additional multiples as I transitioned to my career as a project manager in a desk job.  In the early years, I became first consumed by work and didn’t consider myself  allowing my early career days to involve late night at the office, binge eating fast food while watching TV at home (the worst show to do this to, “The Biggest Loser), and then to bed to start the cycle again in the morning.  Eventually, my priorities realigned to serving others through my membership in my church, but I continued to forget one thing…

Myself.   How many times have I made the decision that today would be the day I would start to lose the weight?  10?  20?  30?   Frankly, I don’t recall anymore.  The events, however, started off mostly the same.  A declaration to my social media followers about my current weight.  A high weight loss goal.   A week at the gym with 3 or 4 appearances.   Encouragement from friends & family that I will succeed.  The result?  2 weeks of work outs while trying to eat better, but still eating junk food followed by 3 months of no physical activity resulting in a weigh gain requiring another weight loss post several months down the line.   Exhausting, discouraging, demeaning, and shattering would be just a few words I used to describe my situation.

The weight loss competition started and after I provided no effort the first couple of weeks, I contracted a cold with a constant cough that kept me out of commission even longer.  Without an officially declaration, I had given up.   I was finished.  I was done.  The goal, the aspiration, it was never bound to happen.

And then it all happened, 2 months ago today, I decided to weigh in a work.  I weighed in at 310 pounds, the highest I have ever seen on the scale for myself before.   Now my actual weight was likely closer to 300-305 pounds as my weight included my work uniform & giant steel-toed boots, but still I had never envisioned going into the 300 milestone.   I knew right then and there something different would have to happen.  

Some personal insecurities, some I’ve never shared:  I was embarrassed that took an extra push to get off the couch.   I was embarrassed that I would easily get winded running up the 10 stairs in my house.   I was ashamed to take my shirt off in a swimming pool.   I was ashamed to look at myself in the mirror.   I was worried that I wouldn’t achieve one of my greatest life ambitions in starting my own family.

You see I understand not everything comes down to body image in relationships, but I also realize that I am never going to be a good husband if I try to take care of everyone, but completely neglect myself.   I’m not preparing myself to be the husband & father that my future family deserves as Christ intends.   Around this time, I spoke the my church’s high school youth, a group that means more to me than almost everything I have ever been apart of.  In the story of my life, I told that even though I doubt God’s timing in my life, I know I’m bound to serve kingdom alongside my own family when I am truly ride.

So behind the scenes, I’ve embarked on a life changing path.  Through the past 2 months, I have  made changes in my diet with more fruits & vegetables and less Wendy’s.   I started a 5K preparation workout at the gym where I went from running/walking 1.9 miles to 2.4 miles.  I’ve bought a jump rope & ladder to work on my agility.   It takes 21 days to make a habit, and I wanted to make sure this more apart of my life than 21 days, so 2 months in I feel I can finally start to share my success.

Yesterday, to mark the conclusion of my 2 months, my weigh-in was just under 280 pounds.   Over the past 2 months, I have lost over 20 pounds.  The results have been incredible.   My clothes fits comfortably although my belts have to be pulled tighter and even so my pants are starting to feel looser.   I see the differences in the mirror in the weight loss in my face and stomach.   My runs are becoming smoother as I’ve cut off several minutes of my mile time and my walk up the stairs or getting off the couch no longer requires extra effort.  I’ve played sports (like basketball) that I used to watch from the sidelines, now more at ease with my ability to compete.

So why do I tell this story?   First, I wanted to take an opportunity to celebrate my progress.   I’m not anywhere near the finish line, but I have never had this level of success before.  Second, I wanted to share my goals for the future keep up healthy eating, going to the gym 3 or 4 times a weeks, and move forward towards my future weight loss aspirations (270 by CIY Move Retreat on June 19th, 260 by Alabama Vacation on July 17th, and 250 by Dallas Vacation on August 25th).  I know with each of these goals the task gets harder & the path more challenging (and by the way, not today’s topic, but I hope my growth includes stronger wherewithal not just physically, but also spiritually, mentally, and in family & friendships), but I want my friends & family to help hold me accountable.  The initial loss comes easy and mine included a week long trip to Haiti (which makes it easier, but I’ve also put that weight much easier in the past).  Finally, if I can offer encouragement to someone else who thinks the same way I have that our goal is too much and odds are stacked.  Day by day, you can make a change, and the results are worth it more than you can ever imagine.  I’m high anticipation of what God has next for me, I cannot wait to see the finished project.

Why Run?

Take one look at me, and I am not the stereotypical person who would run & manage a 5K event.  Certainly, it is not ideal for business when a man who looks like an offensive lineman for a Louisiana semipro football is leading the public relations for an event that encourages its participants to just run.

So why run?  Simply put, it is the right thing to do.  In my experience, there are two types of service.   First is to give your money.   You could send a million dollar check every day to small desert tribe in the the Middle East struggling with hunger and for awhile they won't be hungry , but eventually you'll create another situation.  The tribe doesn't know what to do with the money.  Maybe they buy a thousand boats.  Maybe they cure poverty across the region with new super cities.  Maybe they build weapons for newly engaged wars to wipe out neighboring tribes.   Or maybe, they just get fat & lazy.   Do we serve people well just writing a blank check and disappearing into the sunset?  Absolutely not.

Another type of service you can give is with your time.   You could go to a poor tribe in Nigeria to teach English, support building projects, and play games with kids.  You would leave a positive impact in the community.  Maybe people remember your kindness forever.  Maybe they forget you.  Maybe the family you serves dies of hunger or disease the next year.  Maybe you come back yearly to reunite with hugs & laughter.   When you return, you would be motivated by the one or two weeks of service.  You would populate your social media pages with photos & postings about how you constantly think about where you served, yet when you go home, in Nigeria hunger still exists, houses are still falling down, clothes of young children are still torn & undersized.  Sure, we leave a part of our heart there, but is that enough?  Not likely.

So service isn't just money and it isn't just time.  We need to combine our efforts to together with our talents & treasures.  Consider what Jesus said in Matthew 25:31-40:

31“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne.32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

The words of Christ are both those of talents & treasures.  We give our talents (time) by stopping to visit sick people or preparing a place for them to stay.  We give our treasures by sharing our surplus or what we own in clothes, food, and drinks.

It is why I cannot allow myself to go back to Haiti next year without the completion of Pastor Marc's home.   He (including his community) has invited us into home for several years, me personally for three years, by preparing us food, drinks, a place to stay, and even with my shoe story finding me something to wear.   I went to serve him as he served me like Christ so desired above.

Sometimes, we say we want to be back in Haiti, because life is simpler there, but even in Haiti, we aren't truly in Haiti.   Food & drinks were provided for us when we needed it.   We always had clothes & medicine quickly ready for us.  Our tents were, in most cases, operable throughout the week.   In a lot of ways, we were living like kings in the poorest country in the world.

From this year's trip, I have posted hundreds of photos of smiling American volunteers & Haitian children enjoying each other's company.   I've contributed to the team by bringing smiles & spreading the message of Christ through trip projects including Hut to Hut prayers, music, games, crafts, hanging out, and even my own missteps into the mud.   I am proud of these moments and I will never allow these accomplishments to be minimized.   Nevertheless, I want for him to invite me into his finished house, not a torn UNICEF tarp as a lean-to next to a ripped & torn tent.   

Yes, of course, I will return to Haiti.  Probably even this next year to see his finished house.   We will finish that house.  Many people have seen my posts advertising our race over and over and over again.  Yet I'm motivated to complete a task that my talents are perfectly assigned to.  Motivated to serve someone in need who has offered me so much more.  They welcomed me into their house with very little making sure I had everything I ever needed.   It is my time to return that favor...  It is my turn to show them Christ's love one more time.

Leaving you with some pictures:

1) Pastor Marc's "House" Today:

2) The Site of Pastor Marc's New House?

3) Pastor Marc's Family (pictured below are his two sons)

Mud Pies and Blue Strapped Sandals

One of the first things you notice in third world countries with poverty are the shoes.   If you are lucky enough to find a Haitian with shoes on, especially the children, they are bound to be torn & shredded into pieces and barely fit on the person's feet.  When you look a little deeper, you'll notice cuts & bruises that would cause us pain keeping us off our feet for hours at a time.  If a mother in the US saw her child with these same cuts there would be loads of bandaids, rubbing alcohol, etc dispersed as the cure.  In Haiti, unfortunately, life moves on.   There really isn't too much more you can do.  You cannot go to Kohl's & pick out a new pair of Nikes.  You cannot go to Walgreens and get bandaids & creams.  You have to live with what you have & just try to move on.

Once a week, in the town we stay in called La Coma, there is a market.   Our group is attracted to the unique items Toro (Haitian Red Bull), homemade chairs, whips, machetes, and although not for our purchase but the just slaughtered meat.  Yet there are items, we don't think too much about like toothpaste and shoes.   I've always wondered, why are there so many booths at market with these odd items?
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I came to Haiti with two pairs of shoes.  The first pair Nike Tennis shoes: I had them for about 2 years.  I knew they were on the end of their life.   One thing in particular the base had started to break through, so if you push too hard the base will push away from the shoe with your foot requiring you to push the shoe back together.   Before I left, I meant to get duct tape to fix them, but honestly I thought they would work just fine on the trip, so I didn't worry about duct tape.  The other pair of shoes were brown sandals, humorously, referred to by my small group as "Jerusalem Sevens".  They were simply a pair of leather sandals with the base starting to break & the cloth almost torn apart.

Early on in my travel to Haiti, I knew fixing those tennis shoes would have been a good idea.  I had to stop many times just to push the shoes back together.   Yet I still thought I could make it through.
As we arrived in La Coma, something happened that typically doesn't happen out there.  It rained, rained, and rained some more.  And of course, when a town like La Coma is made up of cactus, palm trees, and dirt, the walking surface becomes unbearably muddy.  Within that first day's storm both my shoes and sandals were covered in mud.  Entering and leaving the church, we had take off our shoes to avoid tracking the mud all over the concrete.  Those sandals were gone very quickly.  One shoe I couldn't find, but the one looked so bad & covered in so much mud, I just felt it wasn't worth finding the other anyway.

So I was down to the shoes and it was Tuesday the aforementioned market day.  In Haiti, the children are very demanding of the attention of the Americans.  Since life is tough for their parents, the kids cannot expect many piggy back rides, hugs, hand holding, etc.   Thus, I was walking with one the Haitian children on my back as common practice.  As my journey through the mud got immediately tougher, I learned quickly my mistake.  As I maneuvered through the mud with extra weight on my shoulders, I quickly lost my footing and slowly fell into the mud knees first.  The first reaction is the Haitian boy screaming and sliding away, this sounds dramatic and it really wasn't, like any kid who's on his way to becoming a teenager or already one, there reaction to everything is dramatic.  The second reaction is the laughter of my group as they noted my shorts, legs, and hands were covered in mud.  There's pictures out there, but luckily they haven't been posted yet, so dang it, I cannot share it you (sarcasm).

We quickly made a beeline to the market.  Sitting in the middle of the market were 30+ pairs of shoes.   I quickly took my muddy & destroyed shoes off and handed them to translator to never be seen again.  (I honestly don't know where those shoes went were they trashed or reused?  I'll never know).   The first pair of shoes I tried on were pair of blue sandals.   They probably look more like woman's shoes as pictured below.  The Haitian woman, this poor woman, slid plastic bags on my feet to help guide the sandals.  As she struggled to complete this task, I easily knocked her in the head a complete of times.  The shoes were tight, they weren't comfortable, but I desperately needed a pair, so I decided to deal with it.  I found out the cost was $3.00, the lady pointed out the mud on her shirt from my foot, but I quickly paid in disappeared.  Honestly, I wanted to hand her a $20 bill, but I have learned long before that overpaying in Haiti, although honorable, only causes more issues later.

Another interesting storyline, as I walked through the market, I also regrettably became a main attraction Haitians were laughing & pointing at the big white man with the muddy legs and shorts.  I knew at this stage I could do one of two things:  hide my head in shame or embrace the moment.  When in Haiti and miles away from anyone you know, I embraced the moment by waving & smiling at any laughing Haitian.  For someone who takes life so seriously, I was shocked how much relief and joy comes by being able to laugh at yourself and just move on.

Anyway, it was those shoes I wore home.   It was those shoes were the back broke the second time I tried them on (to the amusement of the others, but to me it was more comfortable).  It was those shoes that started to form 10 to 15 blisters.   It was those shoes that I decided not to wear on the soccer field, in the church, on cement, etc, because I couldn't stand the pain of the shoes on the blisters.   And those shoes will be the pair I where to church this coming Sunday night.

It was those shoes that changed my perspective.  It is one thing to feel sympathetic for the plight of the Haitians.   It is another thing to respect their plight of surviving and carrying on without quality shoes when their American guests are better equipped.  However, for me, I learned something different.   This challenge was literally the teaching "you cannot understand another person until you walk a mile in his shoes."   I can sympathize or respect the Haitians all I want from my own sight, but it is a totally different experience to live through it.  And so, Tavis, you ask, "What did you learn?"  Don't take life so seriously.  Don't get wrapped up in who has what and who doesn't have that.  And just keep living and moving on, because God provides you with everything you need.

Philippians 4
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

"Third Time's a Charm"

This March, I will be returning to Haiti for the third consecutive year.   In my first trip to Haiti, I was taken aback by how happy & grateful every person I met was despite struggling to have the most basic necessities I have taken for granted like education, air conditioning, and hot showers.  During the second trip, I was able to see the progress we've made from previous trip finishing the church, offering solutions to transporting water for the kids, etc, but in this trip I felt by the experience, because even when we accomplished so much, there was still a lot of needs in Haiti.   Thus, I've decided to return to Haiti this year, because I feel I have unfinished business that I am called to complete during this year's trip as outlined below:

<Planner> For this trip, I've taken on co-leadership responsibilities in supporting the planning.  After many years of internal debates & struggling with self confidence, I've finally realized where my skills lie.   I've been gifted & trained in abilities to plan every detail to the point of having a clear schedule, R&R, and budget.  These tasks would certainly bore the average person as I know this to be true, because when I talk friends about schedules, deadlines, and R&R from work or other projects, they look like they'd rather be in the dentist chair.  Yet, I can argue no more, I have embraced the skills afford to me in this life and I've realized I have no business going on this trip without putting these talents to good use.

<Relationships> As I've grown, I've gained a greater understanding that its not where we live or what we do that defines who we are, but it is how we impact those around us.   I've appreciated the experiences in Haiti, because I've been able to impact the same people in my first two trips.  This year, I want to continue to build that relationship.  Just today, I received a Facebook message from the pastor in La Coma asking me how I was doing, but exclaiming how happy he was himself.  These relationships are those that I want to support, because sometimes in the States it is all too common to hear a person complaining about how tough life is as they drink Starbucks while watching television in an air conditioned house.

<Growth>  In one regard, I've grown as a person through this experience.  I truly believe I have become a better example of Christian through these mission trips.  I am not a perfect role model, but I believe that on my way to displaying a life where my values match how I live my life.  However, I also see growth in the community we serve.  I am working hard to develop "The La Coma Neighborhood Project".  I've used funding we've gained from 5K fundraisers to slowly address the needs of the community.  Last year the church, this year the pastor's house, and future years the school or medical center or whatever the next great challenge is.

<Once a Year> Also, I've decided on a personal goal that I need be a leader or participant in a mission trip each and every year.  I've been gifted with a great job, house, car, and family, I believe it is my obligation to give back to others less fortunate than me.  I believe everyone should give back a week a year to the greater good.  It doesn't have to be Haiti, it could be in your own hometown.

It is this year, I am doing something different.  In the past two years, I have funded my own trip.  I believed that I was given so many wonderful opportunities that I should be able to support myself.  However, I have also learned that I am missing out on an incredible opportunity to share my experience with those I am connected.  Today, I gave a level summary on what the trip means to me and what I offer the Haitian community.  Throughout my preparation, third mission trip, and return home, I hope to expand on my experiences with my donors.  I want you to be part of my experience, so that I could be influence or guidance to the challenges that you want to help overcome.

How can you donate:
1) Online - Basically you set up an account online, select the Haiti trip, and type my name as the person you want to support.  From there, you select your donation amount & complete payment.
https://thriva.activenetwork.com/Reg4/(S(xz5dk5yeyf1f3yeykvt1jb55))/Form.aspx?regkey=RpYOYPxE378wNjTYCkFkMw%3d%3d&qid=2434

2) Mail - You could mail check (with my name & mission trip in the memo) to First Church of Christ in Burlington, Kentucky or to my home address (9163 Hawksridge Drive, Covington, KY).  Although, I would think paying online would be the easiest way to donate.

I hope to have more to share through this experience, please don't hesitate to ask me any questions!!!

Glow Sticks or Luxury Cars?

For over a year I have been torn, I know I am in need of my next car, but I cannot decide what new car I should lease.  The Lexus ES is absolutely pristine, and I look awesome driving it.  You don't feel like your driving a car, but instead a top of the line, five star hotel.  After driving the ES and returning my Honda Accord 2002, I felt like the quality of the interior of the car I owed was no better than a go-kart.  The problem is the cost is restrictive.   I can afford the increased lease, because Toyota offers great rates to their employees, but I would be confined to actually keeping & maintaining a budget.  I could also lease a Camry, but isn't that a little too cliche?  Don't a lot of (old) people already drive this car?   I wouldn't really impress anyone, and I would still have to be cautious with a budget, because not only would I be paying for a car, but also a house.

Don't get me wrong, I am blessed enough financially, where when I broke my iPad, I bought a new one that night.  When I lost my cell phone (read my first blog post for the details), I bought a new one the first chance I could.  Then I think back to life in Haiti where we were taught that the people of Haiti live off less than $1 a day!   Shoot... I bought 2 Coca Colas each & everyday we were there last year.   

I don't think this makes me a bad person, but I couldn't survive the life Haitians have to live.   I "need" my iPhone, my iPad, my Coca Cola, and my choice of a vehicle.  For whatever reason, I wasn't destined to live that life.  In more ways then I take the time to realize, I am blessed beyond my imagination.  Did you hear when I said I don't have to keep budget?   It is not like I travel to London or Paris once a month, but I get to live a satisfying enough lifestyle where I get everything I need (food and water) and everything I want (shelter, new clothes, phone, car, etc).  

Last July in Haiti, our most creative VBS night was a party to celebrate Jesus.  Throughout the week, we had given the kids noise makers and played American games like dodgeball (fun to watch, but playing any game with Haitians other than soccer, which in an organized league with better training they would destroy us at, is a futile activity). 

This night, however, we gave the children glow sticks.  We decided to line the kids up and translated to them that one at time they could have one, and only one, glow stick.  Well, of course, chaos burst loose and the kids crowded around our leaders desperate for their glow stick.  Now let me stop and say, this reaction isn't Haitian.  Have you ever brought candy into a classroom of middle school guys?  If you don't give them the candy soon enough, you will be mobbed.  So we were quickly handing out the glow sticks, one after another after another while the kids were smiling and so proud of the gift they had been given.  

Quicker then we expected, we ran out of our supply of glow sticks.  It was at that time, one of the boys I knew pulled at my sleeve and motioned that he didn't have a glow stick.   The face he gave me was priceless.  I could see how much he wanted to be like everyone else and have a glow stick.  I wanted more than anything to find that boy a glow stick.  First, I am a pushover, a sap to youth who want something from me.  Ask my small group, and you will learn giving gifts (like free Burger King) makes me happy.  Second, I felt he deserved it, here was a boy who probably never seen a glow stick before.   I wanted to give something, incredibly simple & meaningless, that he just didn't get to have.  

It was brought to my attention that older teenagers made off with multiple bracelets, so I became the bracelet bouncer.  We walked around that dusty soccer field trying to find a teen with more than one bracelet.  I looked at kid after kid, and I finally found one.  I motioned to him to give me a bracelet.  He rejected.  Again, don't think of this as Haitian, an American teenager would be just as competitive to keep what he thought he earned even if it valued less than a nickel.   I motioned sternly to the teen to my friend without a bracelet.  He finally relented and gave me that bracelet.

Immediately after, I handed it to the Haitian boy.  A smile illuminated from his face.  He was so gracious to me.  This boy was the one who bragged to me, quite arrogantly, that he could count to ten in Creole, French, and English, but it was this time he attempted to thank me (in English) and either shake my hand or give me a hug.   

You see this moment was incredibly simple, but it had substance.  I do believe this boy's glow stick busted within a week after we left.   I do believe this boy forgot about the glow stick.  What I don't know is when I see the boy in Haiti, will he remember my gracious, yet simple, action for him?  Honestly, I think he will.

Here's the point, as I debate between this car or that car, I will eventually get a car and will love my new car, but in a week, it won't be a new car, it will be another possession of mine.  The question isn't if I treat my car like a gift, waxing and cleaning it daily, but that I'm gracious in the gift I was given.   The blessing of a family that care for me and worked for me.  The blessing of ability to gain employment.  The blessing of a company that treats their employees with respect.  

It is my honest hope that my passion shines through in everything I do.   I want to be seen as someone with a Heart for Haiti who lives by why he wants to build the La Coma church so badly.  So I ask and the question remains... when a stranger sees me in this world, do they see someone shining graciously like a child with a glow stick or someone lost in his own accomplishments deserving of a fancy, new Lexus?.............................

The Greatest Inspiration

When we think of role models, we think of people who have lived before us and accomplished things that we strive to achieve.  A scientist strives to be like Albert Einstein, a basketball player Michael Jordan, a golfer Tiger Woods, a businessman Warren Buffett, and on and on.  However, is it possible for your role model to be someone younger than you?   Someone who has accomplished the simplest things overcoming the most challenging obstacles that you couldn't even imagine for your own life?    Is it so strange to say that my role model is my little sister?

I learned this past week that there is a day called "Sibling Day".   This past Thursday, if you searched various social medias sites, you found your friends with sibling pictures exclaiming how close they are and how much they appreciate each other.  I didn't follow suit, because I found this process to be a little bit cliche, but also I felt this story deserved more than just picture and a well-crafted status update.

Taryn is 22.  She works as both an aide for a preschool and an assistant in an art studio.  As a hobby she is self-professed Disney expert and a passionate ice skater.  She lives with my parents.   Society tells me she has a disability.

When I was around 12 years old, I participated in an organization called Sibshop.  Sibshop was created for youth who have siblings with disabilities.  I was apart of this group briefly, but during that time I learned to embrace my challenges, recognize my feelings, and learn how to cope & manage.

I consider myself a realist, so don't expect me to explain a thunderstorm into a sunny day.   I wonder sometimes about how life could be.   Almost all our family trips were to Disney World, I wish we could have gone on other adventures like camping or skiing or to the White House or NFL games.  I feel cheated that although my sibling relationship involved the normal bickering & support of one another, we don't get to grow up the same way.   We won't get to drive to each other's houses for holidays to visit with our expanded families.  I won't get to strike fear into any of her potential boyfriends.  We didn't get to visit each other at college and spend a night out on the town living each other's life.  We won't even get to figure out together how to help our parents transition into retirement.

There may be those moments I have felt cheated and dreamed about the typical relationship, but I have learned a valuable lesson over the years, I have the perfect sister for me.



With any younger sibling, especially a sister, you want to protect her.   Unfortunately, when she was in middle school, I was in high school and when she was in high school, I was in college.  I had to rely on younger friends to watch out for and protect her.   You expect your younger sister's challenges to be dating or keeping good friends, but I had to worry about my sister learning how to read & complete math problems.   Academics came easy for me, but for her she had to struggle to meet an IEP tailored to her abilities.  Sometimes, I was unfairly frustrated with her struggles, because I wanted my sister to be just like in the top math classes in my grade.   What I didn't expect was she would eventually achieved it all.   For her, learning to read was like me learning integrals in college Calculus.  However, when the going got tough for her she pushed onward most times with a smile & a positive attitude, but for me, the "typical" one, I accepted that acing Calculus isn't within my abilities & a C is good enough to move on.   I wonder how can she be the one with the disability when she exceeded past her expectations and I struggled to meet my own.



It was because of Taryn, I became interested in helping others.   Without Taryn, I don't think my life perspective would be the same.   It is because of her that our family
 took interest in our community and helping the needs of others.  My mother helped form an ice skating programming for people with disabilities in our hometown and I joined an organization that gave grants to community service projects.  It is because of her I care about those who are less fortunate.  Without her, I wouldn't have wanted to volunteer at my church and become a mentor to middle school youth eventually finding my way to mission trips in St. Louis, Memphis, and Haiti.   It is because of her I want to find a way to finish the church of La Coma.

So yes, my little sister is my role model.   Her perseverance through challenges I couldn't have imagined has inspired me to push myself just a little bit further.   If she could learn to read with all my abilities that I have been blessed with and business training that I have been afforded, I can overcome my fears like those of public speaking, introducing myself to strangers, and tackling unfamiliar experiences to take on challenges I used to think I wasn't skilled enough for like managing a project at Toyota, leading a church small group, and supporting a fundraiser like Hearts for Haiti 5K.  We all need a bit of inspiration, don't we?

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Why?

For the past several months, I have been planning a 5K event to support La Coma, Haiti.

Why?  How did I get here?

Last July I joined my church (First Church of Christ in Burlington, Kentucky) on their annual mission trip to Haiti.  I decided to go on this mission to Haiti, because I'm a leader in the student ministry and I felt I had an obligation to go.   What I didn't expect was my attendance was needed more as a follower than as a leader.

Early in the trip, before we left the plane in Haiti, I had misplaced my cell phone.  For the next two days, I was consumed with thoughts related to my phone.  Is someone racking up a bill over a thousand dollars?  Is someone calling & messaging all my friends & family?  Will the airline find my phone?   Will I be able to get a replacement iPhone.  I wasn't just consumed with negative thoughts, but my mood was wrecked. Everyone was enjoying & embracing the experience, but I was worrying about worldly possessions to the point that other people on the trip knew what my focus was on.  Certainly, I knew my behavior was misaligned and I tried all I could do to correct, but I just couldn't change my attitude.

On our first full day in Haiti, we finally arrived at La Coma.  After exiting the bus, I was informed that the group I was leading would be responsible for that evening's VBS.  My phone was still on my mind, but now joined by my worrying about delivering the perfect VBS lesson that I felt we weren't prepared enough for.  Of course as life goes, our VBS lesson went better than I expected.  By being a vocal point of that night, I started to integrate myself into the environment as young teenagers started asking me questions about my age, family, etc.   It was in these moments that my worrying about my phone and about leading the perfect lesson became insignificant.   Those moments were about bonding with my fellow man and finally softening my heart to their experience.  I won't deny that I came into the trip with harden heart burdened by insignificant worries.  These first conversations started a week long change a of perspective in myself.  You learn to complain less about the difficulties of your life.  Try riding in a bus in Haiti, you won't care about another pothole in US ever again.

So what led me to this 5K?  While in Haiti, I learned to be participant as I watched other leaders embrace their niche.   A teacher becoming an educator of the English language.   A midwife & a paramedic addressing the needs of a pregnant woman.  A sales manager successfully guiding a team of 32.  In my life, I am businessman trained in the world of project management.   We live & die by planning every little detail.  In college, I was responsible for the impossible task of leading fundraising for a business fraternity of over 40  overly extended college student forcing them to dedicate themselves to fruitless tasks like concessions at a football game.  If I could do this, couldn't I do something more for something more meaningful.

Towards the end of my trip, I overheard a conversation with the minister of La Coma.   He was listing the needs of the church.   Some seemed simple (Bibles, can you imagine the easiest book to find in the US being a luxury in Haiti?) and some seemed impossible in their surroundings (a sound system), but it was in those moments that I felt all my experiences in life through many narrows paths lead to one important objective.  To help launch the church of La Coma, Haiti by fundraising for their financial needs.

I'm nothing special by myself.  I believe what I am doing anyone else can accomplish.  However, I have been given the experience to accomplish something greater than myself.   I cannot imagine the everlasting impact I can bring to this community by offering the financial resources they need to complete the roof of their church.  I know many Americans are disenfranchised with the Christian Church, and I cannot blame anyone for that reaction, but Haiti does it right.   Their church is about helping the hungry, the sick, and the weak.  

This site will be used to share my experiences, so you can understand why I am begging and pleading for so many of my friends to participate in this event.  This event isn't for me, but it is for my friends in Haiti who deserve so much more, but still find a way to find happiest in everything they do.

Register today at www.heartforhaiti.tk.   Thank you everybody!